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Sunday, April 20, 2014 |  Madison, WI: 52.0° F  Light Rain
The Paper

TELL ALL

Tell All: I want a cronut
Will it be bad for me?


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Dear Tell All: Do you know of a place in the Madison area that makes a pastry like the cronut? They sound delicious! Also, if there is a place here that sells these pastries, how bad would it be for me if I ate one?

Looking for a New Sweet Thing

Dear Looking: Tell All and the Isthmus food department don't often work collaboratively. But we teamed up to research the cronut issue for you and discovered that, apparently, no one is producing a local version of the ballyhooed croissant/doughnut hybrid. Indeed, the Dominique Ansel Bakery in New York City has trademarked the name, so to get an authentic cronut, you'd have a bit of a drive.

Now to address your other question: "How bad would it be for me if I ate one?" Looking, I'm sure you know that Tell All is not a dietitian. If I was, I would affirm that eating cronut would be very, very bad for you.

But I think the reason you wrote me is that you know I endorse pleasure in all its forms. Indeed, the goal of Tell All is to make people feel better. As I gather from your signature, you are "looking for a new sweet thing," and if you think a cronut would be that thing, you have my blessings.

Drive safely to New York.

I printed a letter on Dec. 12 that lamented the dumb bios people write for themselves on Twitter. Since then I've received a flood of nominations for the most self-satisfied, cutesy, unfunny, stupid and/or obnoxious bios. Here's a sampling:

  • Food blogger and award-winning columnist for Madison Magazine, food event producer, dance instructor, and successful multi-potentialite.
  • It was three years ago when I returned from the french foreign legion, to take up with my half brother at his dojo in the sacred jungle for the quiet life.
  • Random observations and snark. You've been warned.
  • I'm a stand-up comic fighting the good fight. Looking for loose change and loose women. Also, are you done with them fries?
  • i take showers like no one else in the business. i'm pretty tall and have excellent vision.
  • Duplex addict, recalcitrant humanist, wiseacre. Be gentle.

Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Write Tell All, 101 King St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com.

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