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Wednesday, April 23, 2014 |  Madison, WI: 54.0° F  Overcast
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FORTUNES

H1N1 "swine flu" virus up, Local Catholic schools down

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UP: H1N1 "swine flu" virus. During the first week of classes at the UW-Madison, 200 people are treated for flu-like symptoms, and lab work confirms that the vast majority are swine flu cases. "H1N1 is definitely here and we're starting to see a lot of it on campus," UW epidemiologist Craig Roberts tells The Capital Times. Several swine flu cases have also been confirmed at MATC.

DOWN: Local Catholic schools. The Madison Diocese, aligning with the nation's wing-nut faction, forbids its schools to let students watch a national address by President Barack Obama, saying it was not part of the curriculum. Obama, passing up his chance to urge students to have lots of free abortions performed by illegal aliens, instead urges them to apply themselves to their studies and stay in school. And wash their hands a lot, because of swine flu.

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