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The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

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The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby pjbogart » Tue Nov 05, 2013 1:51 am

Good fuckin' luck! The Packers lost... all I had left to salvage my night was a nice buzz and a cheese sandwich. Melty cojack on honey wheat. It would have been akin to a handjob followed by a rimjob followed by a blowjob if I hadn't burned the fucker. What the fuck? I was standing right there! The first side went fine, golden brown, the cojack was peaking out almost tempting me to shave a bit of its melty goodness with my trusty spatula, but turn that bitch over and you've got a blackened piece of shit that looked like someone took a blowtorch to it. Even those incompetent fucks at Arby's couldn't fuck up a simple sandwich this bad!

It was the bread, I'm just sure of it. That cunt Sara Lee inserted two pieces of easily burnable Honey Wheat into my otherwise delicious loaf. Bitch.
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby Detritus » Tue Nov 05, 2013 5:52 pm

I see that posting on the forum isn't the only thing you do under the influence. Maybe that's part of the problem--it's not just the bread that's been toasted too much.
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby TheBookPolice » Tue Nov 05, 2013 6:46 pm

pjbogart wrote:handjob followed by a rimjob followed by a blowjob ... the cojack was peaking

Fuckin', indeed.
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby Dangerousman » Wed Nov 06, 2013 1:31 am

pjbogart wrote: a rimjob followed by a blowjob


It's nice you enjoy that, but out of consideration for your date, you're probably not rinsing your mouth in between, are you?
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby narcoleptish » Wed Nov 06, 2013 9:58 am

I too have been vexed by the inability to judge the status of a cooking grilled cheese sandwich. My problem is usually, though not always, with the first flip. It's not like pancakes where you get those nice telling bubbles, it's a complete shot in the dark. And don't even try to nudge up a corner to check the golden progress, once you break that butter/pan seal there's no going back. It's going to look all messed up, like it was cooked twice, and then you will inevitably dwell on it just long enough to char the other side.

When mom would do it she would proceed to scrape the burned part off with a serrated knife, like scaling a fish after you've cooked it. Call me picky..
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby Bwis53 » Wed Nov 06, 2013 1:39 pm

I've had fabulous grilled cheese sandwiches at Harmony (oval Gonella bread, cheese, tomato, raw onion!) and Brocach (whole wheat bread, sharp cheddar, avocado, red pepper) washed down with a nice beer. I have fond memories of my sweetie back in the early 70's, watching MASH together, making grilled cheese sandwiches with a side pickle. Don't turn the heat up too high and it's okay to lift a side for inspection. And my sweetie was incredibly fastidious...
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby gozer » Thu Nov 07, 2013 6:44 pm

pjbogart wrote:Good fuckin' luck! The Packers lost... all I had left to salvage my night was a nice buzz and a cheese sandwich. Melty cojack on honey wheat. It would have been akin to a handjob followed by a rimjob followed by a blowjob if I hadn't burned the fucker. What the fuck? I was standing right there! The first side went fine, golden brown, the cojack was peaking out almost tempting me to shave a bit of its melty goodness with my trusty spatula, but turn that bitch over and you've got a blackened piece of shit that looked like someone took a blowtorch to it. Even those incompetent fucks at Arby's couldn't fuck up a simple sandwich this bad!

It was the bread, I'm just sure of it. That cunt Sara Lee inserted two pieces of easily burnable Honey Wheat into my otherwise delicious loaf. Bitch.


they used to say that "nobody doesn't like sara lee" but things have been going downhill of late.

a beautiful post -- i for one encourage more of the same to the max . . .
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby Ned Flanders » Fri Nov 08, 2013 1:39 pm

Try making it in a waffle iron.
Image
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby Dangerousman » Mon Nov 11, 2013 10:25 am

narcoleptish wrote:I too have been vexed by the inability to judge the status of a cooking grilled cheese sandwich. My problem is usually, though not always, with the first flip. It's not like pancakes where you get those nice telling bubbles, it's a complete shot in the dark. And don't even try to nudge up a corner to check the golden progress, once you break that butter/pan seal there's no going back. It's going to look all messed up, like it was cooked twice, and then you will inevitably dwell on it just long enough to char the other side.


I suspect the reason you all are having problems judging the doneness of the flip side is this: When you put the sandwich on the grill or in the pan, the surface hasn't reached it's peak temperature yet. So when you get side 1 done perfectly and flip it, side 2 is not going to require the same amount of cooking time due to the grill/pan now having reached it's peak temperature. The solution is to either plan on side 2 taking less time, or, have the patience to let the pan or grill reach a temperature plateau before you put side 1 on it. For me the same phenomenon is true if it's pancakes or grilled cheese. I tend to cook with a heat setting a bit lower than recommended too. My electric griddle guide says to do pancakes at 400 degrees, but I always put it at either 350 or 375. Bon appetit
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby snoqueen » Mon Nov 11, 2013 11:58 am

He's right. Yet another way to evenly heat the sandwich while the first side is browning is to cover the pan. (Yes, wait until it's properly hot and will sizzle a droplet of water.)

After you turn the sandwich, leave the cover off and keep your eye on it. Chances are it'll come out perfect on both sides. Browning the second side will go a lot faster than the first because the sandwich is already pretty hot.

I learned this on my first job which was waitressing in a truck stop 50 years ago, and it still works fine.

En-joy!
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby Dangerousman » Mon Nov 11, 2013 12:29 pm

Didn't they have child labor laws back then Sno? What were you? 10?

Thanks for the tips, and for making me hungry.

To paraphrase Zen aned the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. The way to make a perfect cheese sandwich: First, make yourself perfect, then just cook naturally.
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby city2countrygal » Tue Nov 12, 2013 1:45 am

Dangerousman wrote:First, make yourself perfect, then just cook naturally."


Mencius asserted the innate goodness of the individual, believing that it was society's influence – its lack of a positive cultivating influence – that caused bad moral character. "He who exerts his mind to the utmost knows his nature" and "the way of learning is none other than finding the lost mind."
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby Henry Vilas » Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:14 am

Dangerousman wrote:Didn't they have child labor laws back then Sno? What were you? 10?

Both sno and I are old enough to be eligible for medicare. I got my first work permit over fifty years ago, when I was 12.
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby Dangerousman » Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:28 am

Henry Vilas wrote:
Dangerousman wrote:Didn't they have child labor laws back then Sno? What were you? 10?

Both sno and I are old enough to be eligible for medicare. I got my first work permit over fifty years ago, when I was 12.


Smooth Henry. Don't you know you should always suggest to a lady that she looks younger than her age?

So... first job.... paper route?
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Re: The Perfect Cheese Sandwich

Postby wack wack » Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:30 am

city2countrygal wrote:
Dangerousman wrote:First, make yourself perfect, then just cook naturally."


Mencius asserted the innate goodness of the individual, believing that it was society's influence – its lack of a positive cultivating influence – that caused bad moral character. "He who exerts his mind to the utmost knows his nature" and "the way of learning is none other than finding the lost mind."


I wonder what Mencius would think now, after many more centuries of human history.

Back to cheese sandwiches... butter or olive oil? On the bread or in the pan?

I've always been a "butter the bread" guy, but I recently learned there are serious adherents to these other styles, too.
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