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Crossing the Street

What are the things that puzzle, enrage, delight and tickle you as you go about your life in Madison?

Crossing the Street

Postby Ninja » Sat Feb 16, 2013 3:48 am

This is something that's baffled me about Madison for years. Why is there so much trouble crossing the street here? I've never seen anything like it in my life. I smoke cigarettes, and my primary smoke break place at work is across the street from the Isthmus office. I stand there at the intersection of the square, King, and Pinkney, watching constant peril and near death every day. Why does this happen? How are sober, professional, adult men and women able to consistently, day in and day out, managing to walk out into oncoming traffic? How is this a thing that exists?
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Re: Crossing the Street

Postby Ninja » Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:26 am

And because I'm drunk, and because I saw two people nearly killed in two seperate incidents trying to cross the street on my cab ride home, I've put together a taxonomy of Madison street crossers, which is probably not the correct word to use for this, and is also probably spelled wrong. But here it is.

1) The Truther - that little sign that says don't walk is probably a lie designed to make you feel foolish and waste your time. These are the people who stop, look at the don't walk sign, look at the car, look back at the don't walk sign, look back at the car and then decide it's time to cross, often right as the car gets its green. I've seen a truly insane number of people leading with baby carriages pull this move in Madison. Scary.

2) The Space Cadet - these are people who appear to be unable to distinguish between concrete and asphalt. People who don't even acknowledge the fact that they've moved from sidewalk to roadway. Stunningly common.
And I'm not even including the folks who have their heads buried in cell phones (or rarely, books...seriously?). I'm just talking about people who seem unwilling or unable to consider the possibility that there might be a car driving on the road that they're blindly attempting to cross.

3) The Sheep - these are the ones that make me feel bad, because I'm a competent adult so I know how to cross the street safely even against the light, but they tend to stumble and bumble out into traffic after seeing one opportunistic person strike out alone. The results are often disasterous.

4) The Prick - every once in a while I see someone who is obviously so full of him or her self that he or she decides to just march out in front of a car that clearly has the right of way. I'm sure we feel the same way about people like that so I don't feel the need to add anything more.

5) College kids - not a problem. I was an idiot when I was 20 too. I'm worried about the adults who can't cross the street.
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Re: Crossing the Street

Postby Remember_Me » Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:42 pm

As a ninja can't you just leap across?
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Re: Crossing the Street

Postby john_titor » Sat Feb 16, 2013 7:35 pm

You mock, yet this individual has given you the most valuable of gifts; a definitive, authoritative answer. When asked, you may confidently and assuredly state, "for a smoke".

As for the shinobi him/herself: Perhaps your frustration with this aspect of humanity will serve as the ignition point between you and the grit. Maybe not. Take pictures.
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