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Charles Band's Full Moon Horror Road Show

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Charles Band's Full Moon Horror Road Show

Postby supaunknown » Mon Jun 09, 2008 1:17 pm

Got free tix through my wife's sister's boyfriend's co-worker. Called my horror buff buddy and asked him if he wanted them all so he could take his family. He checked out the website and immediately nixed taking the fam, so it was dude night. Pounded several beers before heading down to the Barrymore in the pouring rain. Got a great parking spot in the little lot across the street and went inside. Got more beers and some good seats.
The static promo slide projected on the main screen finally gave way to a harshly loud video highlight reel showing clips from some of Band's campy brand of horror. His most recognizable stuff is arguably from the work he did for Empire Pictures, including Ghoulies and the Puppet Master series. So out comes Band with his wireless mic and he waves in the dark for the A/V guy to turn the spotlight on him. He launches into a brief introduction and then wastes no time bringing out two nubile local lasses to strip topless. Right away the show has set it's lewd tone for the evening. And sadly, it wallows in that sleazy vibe for the rest of the night.
Even more disappointing was the utter lack of substance to the "show" itself. I must admit I felt misled by the TV ads which featured gory special effects. I was at least expecting some kind of halfass exploding Chuck E. Cheese type of entertainment. What we were given was a hard lesson in how to put on a show using nothing but filler.
Band himself was salicious and boring. When he wasn't hawking his wares he spent quite a bit of time attempting to coerce ladies from audience into taking their tops off. This reached it's uncomfortable pinnacle during the show's climaxless cruise ship-type audience participation finish. One really drunk chick who seemed game for anything took a phantom step off the stage and went flying. Luckily she popped right up and seemed unhurt. That was the best part of the night.
I heard they sold all of 5 tickets to this event and that the rest were giveaways. There was a pretty sizeable crowd at the beginning of the show which was quietly halved by the end. Sometimes there's good reasons why tix be free.
A bright spot was actress Robin Sydney, who scorched in Showtime's excellent Masters of Horror "Right to Die" episode. She was charming and told a funny Gary Busey anecdote. Not sure what she's doing touring with creepy Charles Band, but she's fire incarnate.
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Postby quixoticgoat » Mon Jun 09, 2008 8:53 pm

i also reviewed it on my blog. i'd repost my review but i'm not sure how many F bombs i can drop on the daily page forum....

you can read it here:
http://quixoticgoat.blogspot.com/2008/06/duuuuuude.html
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Postby Bruno » Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:14 am

Well... at least he's consistent. I stopped by his little douchetastic sideshow last time it was in town and posted about it over on Dane 101. And yeah - I sure as hell didn't pay for that ticket that year either.
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Postby GWhillikens » Tue Jun 10, 2008 2:22 pm

I am a huge horror film fan and (like everyone) won free tickets.
Wow. I wish I had read the Dane101 article before going.
Charles Band was so horrible.
Besides saying "hot chicks" a zillion times and implying that that we all had the same definition of what a hot chick was (apparently they live in hollywood, but don't do porno), he seemed to think everyone was heterosexual.
I can't comment on the whole thing, as i left after about 70 "dude"s and the zillion "hot chicks."
Although a fair amount of people left early, I think more would have if the weather wasn't so bad.
I must admit we got some good heckling in. but now my goal is to make sure no one goes if he comes back.
and he really claims too much credit for reanimator.
and those "poontang girls" were so sad. they didn't do anything gory/funny/anything. They just stood there showing their boobs and then were asked to put their tops back on and exit the stage so Band could talk more about himself and show a clip edited to prove that he has had a lot of real stars in his movies. sorry Band, but i am guessing Viggo Mortenson can't stand you and doesn't plan on being in another of your movies.
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Postby supaunknown » Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:00 pm

GWhillikens wrote:so Band could talk more about himself and show a clip edited to prove that he has had a lot of real stars in his movies.

First of all, welcome to the forum G.

Yeah, that video clip of the stars he's worked with was really lame. Did you notice how there were plenty of slightly less recognizable folks in those scenes but he chose to only add the onscreen credits for the A-listers? What a has-been/wannabe Hollywood ass.

If I were him I'd:
1) Shoot myself twice in the balls and once in the head.
2) Concentrate on the horror and less on the whores.
3) Develop a multimedia show with slides showing timelines, earnings, lists of movies, characters, rehabs, relationships, sexual harrassment lawsuits, film clips, etc. Ya know, stuff he could talk over - fill in details, add war stories & stuff.
4) Show a fun movie, take a brief intermission halfway through to plug merch.
5) Do the Q & A thing.
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Postby GWhillikens » Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:08 pm

nice. it is funny to me something so shamelessly promotional was actually offending and scaring away the crowd.

sexual harrassment lawsuits, anything, really would have been better. I was really surprised to find he did the same lousy show here before.

I've seen Gwar splatter the barrymore in blood, and was really hoping to see something along those lines.
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Postby Zloduska » Fri Jun 13, 2008 2:47 pm

Well now I do feel cheated since my boyfriend PAID for our tickets. But even though the show was wholly disappointing since it was not what was advertised and started way too late, we still like going to that sort of thing. Even while not the most exciting even ever,it's still nice to hang out with other horror movie fans and it's something to do on a Sunday night, plus we were able to pick up some movies and I got a Blade from Puppetmaster figure (from the booth, not the auction). It also makes a good precursor to the annual Flashback Weekend in Chicago which I anticipate greatly. Anyone else here going to Flashback or that goes to Fangoria?


Probably the biggest disappointment was the part at the end, acting out a horror scene. Laughing at the drunk people was fun, and I thought it was going to be some entertaining improv type acting and something creative to do, but it turned out ridiculous and short-lived. However I still enjoyed going to the show even if it was kinda lame. Meeting B-movie actors is always amusing.
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