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Favorite Masturbation Phrase

If it doesn't fit anywhere else, it fits here

Favorite Masturbation Phrase

Postby Oprah » Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:03 pm

Just finished a post in which I made a lame attempt at coining a phrase to signify masturbation (Wingin' the Wally, ugh!).

What's your favorite masturbation phrase?*

*And yes, it's fine to share what you mutter during masturbation, if you'd like to interpret masturbation phrase in that way. I'm flexible (but not Ron Jeremy flexible).
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Postby Marvell » Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:06 pm

In honor of our new Jesus-Troll, Maxine:

Committing the sin of Onan.
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Postby nevermore » Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:15 pm

Going to the Libertarian Party meeting
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Postby Maxine » Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:26 pm

I'm sure you libtards love pumping your organs like you're searching for the last drop of beer from a keg at a frat party.

I'll pray for you, but it's probably a lost cause.
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Postby narcoleptish » Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:32 pm

Waxing 4 Maxine
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Postby buckyor » Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:40 pm

Maxine wrote:I'm sure you libtards love pumping your organs like you're searching for the last drop of beer from a keg at a frat party.



Well, if I had a photo of you in front of me, it would be more like trying to squeeze out that last bit of toothpaste from the tube. . . .
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Maxine You don't have to put on the red light

Postby Bwis53 » Thu Jul 26, 2007 11:05 pm

Maxine
You don't have to put on the red light
Those days are over
You don't have to sell your body to the night

Maxine
You don't have to wear that dress tonight
Walk the streets for money
You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right

Maxine
You don't have to put on the red light
Maxine
You don't have to put on the red light

Maxine (Put on the red light)
Maxine (Put on the red light)
Maxine (Put on the red light)
Maxine (Put on the red light)
Maxine (Put on the red light)
Maxine

I loved you since I knew you
I wouldn't talk down to you
I have you to tell just how I feel
I won't share you with another boy

I know my mind is made up
So put away your make up
Told you once I won't tell you again
It's a bad way

Maxine
You don't have to put on the red light
Maxine
You don't have to put on the red light

Maxine (Put on the red light)
Maxine (Put on the red light)
Maxine (Put on the red light)
(...)
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maxine

Postby habari » Thu Jul 26, 2007 11:18 pm

Some say that we're reckless
They say we're much too young
Tell us to stop before we've begun
We've got to hold out till graduation
Try to hang on Maxine
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Postby Bwis53 » Thu Jul 26, 2007 11:21 pm

Maxine!? Oh, I thought it was Maxim!

Nevermind...
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Postby meowzamusic » Fri Jul 27, 2007 1:51 am

I've always been partial to "waxing philosophical" myself.
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Postby Bruno » Fri Jul 27, 2007 2:01 am

Suing the bishop.
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Postby rrnate » Fri Jul 27, 2007 9:38 am

How's about "Taking the red-eye to Washington"?
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Postby blunt » Wed Aug 01, 2007 11:02 am

We have lost so many pages and posts from the downage!

As you all know, I fake orgasm during masturbation.

But here are some of my faves:

Shaking hands with the unemployed

Annointing the messiah

Risen and coming again

Riding the one-eyed pony

Driving the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile

Freeing Willy
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Postby david cohen » Wed Aug 01, 2007 1:43 pm

I guess that last server belch deleted my all time fave: The Rattlesnake Shake (courtesy of Peter Green)
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Postby Henry Vilas » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:02 pm

david cohen wrote:I guess that last server belch deleted my all time fave: The Rattlesnake Shake (courtesy of Peter Green)

Lots of rock songs with the self-help theme. Here are a few from my generation:
Pictures of Lily
Mary-Anne with the Shaky Hand
Rosie
My Redneck Friend
My Ding-a-Ling
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