Meditate on each of these individually:
People who are bored are usually boring.
Why didn't fish evolve to have one gill that's twice as strong?
Wherever you go, you're still in the way of whoever comes up behind you.
Just because you are smiling doesn't mean I have to stop if I have to find a restroom.
Never argue with a trombone player who is also holding a loaded mac-10
To an alligator, a member of PETA tastes just as good as a poacher.
A thousand pounds of anything will never weigh as much as your emotional baggage.
The next time someone robs you, thank them. They may be so surprised that they may briefly look away, giving you enough time to either hit them or run.