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Commercials

How can cultural elitists like ourselves put TV in the Culture category? Well, where the hell else is it going to fit?

Commercials

Postby bluethedog » Wed Jul 23, 2008 6:10 am

Commercial #1:

There's a commercial for some drug where this lady is giving her dog a bath and jumping in a puddle (things she wouldn't be able to do without the drug I guess).

I think this is a younger woman made up to look like she's older, and I think this is often the case in commercials like these. The jist being, not only will this drug allow you to bathe your dog and jump in puddles, it is also the fountain of youth.

Commercial #2:

The one where the person meets an older version of themself, who treats them like a child.

I'd love to see an SNL parody of this one. Halfway through the motherly/fatherly talk the younger person would cut them off and ask

"When did I become such an overbearing self-righteous son of a bitch?"

"And fatass, I didn't do yoga for 20 years for you to f it up by stopping".

"Keep your advice to yourself, asswipe"

followed by a good pummeling.
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Postby paulie » Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:40 am

an SNL gag would be pretty good. their "commercials" are usually good. robot insurance anyone?

i'm of the opinion that we would be FAR better off as a nation without any pharmaceutical commercials on TV.
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Re: Commercials

Postby bluethedog » Mon Jan 26, 2009 6:45 am

Microsoft's new "I'm a total asshole telling you stupid things over the phone" spots have finally replaced UPS whiteboard guy as most irritating commercial.

Michael Hupy's morning spots still most sleazily amusing.
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Re: Commercials

Postby Henry Vilas » Sun Jul 12, 2009 2:09 pm

First Wendy's uses the Violent Femme's Blister in the Sun, a song about masturbation, in their ads. Now VISA has the Moody Blues Tuesday Afternoon, a paean to dropping acid. Guess they hope most people don't know the rest of the lyrics.
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Re: Commercials

Postby Broadsheet » Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:06 am

Has anyone noticed the explosion of redheads of all ages in commercials? There's even a companion wind-up red-haired doll to match its adult woman in am ad for depression medication.

Watch for it. Red is the new blond. What does it mean?
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Re: Commercials

Postby Henry Vilas » Tue Aug 24, 2010 2:58 pm

L.L. Bean has a back-to-school commercial with a snippet of "Big Rock Candy Mountain", a hobo's dream of paradise. They left out the lyrics about cigarette trees and streams of alcohol. My favorite is:
I've hiked and hiked till my feet are sore
And I'll be damned if I hike any more
To be buggered sore like a hobo's whore
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

Although I do remember a bowdlerized version from my youth, sung by Burl Ives.
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Re: Commercials

Postby john_titor » Tue Aug 24, 2010 5:42 pm

Henry Vilas wrote:Blister in the Sun, a song about masturbation


Wait, what?

I can't stand the diamond commercials. Proof of how much I hate them, I can't remember what local chain it is. The guy that drops a dime on my two-faced fiancée (who obviously thinks my ring is crap) and then goes on to tell me he loves me, drives me nuts.
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Re: Commercials

Postby Henry Vilas » Tue Aug 24, 2010 6:41 pm

john_titor wrote:
Henry Vilas wrote:Blister in the Sun, a song about masturbation


Wait, what?

So how do you interpret big hands and I stain my sheets?
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Re: Commercials

Postby TheBookPolice » Tue Aug 24, 2010 6:57 pm

Henry Vilas wrote:
john_titor wrote:
Henry Vilas wrote:Blister in the Sun, a song about masturbation


Wait, what?

So how do you interpret big hands and I stain my sheets?

Actually, this is folk legend. Members of the band itself explained that the line (and song in general) stems from an incident in Gordon Gano's past, wherein a girl he had a crush on made fun of his small hands.

The explanation is supposed to have appeared on VH1's True Spin, episode 1.13, original airdate 7/26/04.

For now, the episode's info is visible in Google's cache of the recently-redesigned VH1.com here
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Re: Commercials

Postby Henry Vilas » Tue Aug 24, 2010 7:03 pm

John Lennon also said that Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds had nothing to do with LSD. Something about a crayon drawing by Julian instead.
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Re: Commercials

Postby TheBookPolice » Tue Aug 24, 2010 7:20 pm

Henry Vilas wrote:John Lennon also said that Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds had nothing to do with LSD. Something about a crayon drawing by Julian instead.

And who better to believe than the songwriters? Do you really think The Beatles (of all the bands) would shy away from saying something a little controversial? Does "bigger than Jesus Christ" ring any bells?
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Re: Commercials

Postby Henry Vilas » Tue Aug 24, 2010 7:29 pm

The lyrics speak for themselves:

With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,
And she's gone.

{CHORUS}
Lucy in the sky with diamonds,
Lucy in the sky with diamonds,
Lucy in the sky with diamonds,
Ah... Ah...

{VERSE 2}
Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain,
Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies.
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers,
That grow so incredibly high.

Newspaper taxis appear on the shore,
Waiting to take you away.
Climb in the back with your head in the clouds,
And you're gone.

{CHORUS}

Picture yourself on a train in a station,
With plasticine porters with looking glass ties.
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile,
The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.
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Re: Commercials

Postby TheBookPolice » Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:15 pm

Henry Vilas wrote:The lyrics speak for themselves:

With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,
And she's gone.

{CHORUS}
Lucy in the sky with diamonds,
Lucy in the sky with diamonds,
Lucy in the sky with diamonds,
Ah... Ah...

{VERSE 2}
Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain,
Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies.
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers,
That grow so incredibly high.

Newspaper taxis appear on the shore,
Waiting to take you away.
Climb in the back with your head in the clouds,
And you're gone.

{CHORUS}

Picture yourself on a train in a station,
With plasticine porters with looking glass ties.
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile,
The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Indeed they do: candy, toys, candy, toys, pretty colors.
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Re: Commercials

Postby Henry Vilas » Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:43 am

Listen to the song again, especially the way they sing the line: "That grow so incredibly high."

I have a feeling you never dropped acid. I did.
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Re: Commercials

Postby TheBookPolice » Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:34 am

I must have missed the audible "wink wink nudge nudge" after that line.

Listen. I know some folks of your generation like to think you're the center of the pop cultural universe, and that everything was about--and better because of--drug use. Congratulations. You survived.

But I'll take the word of the songwriter, and the two people whose actions as children are cited as inspiration, over the "conspiracy theory" that not only was the song about drug use, but that a band who never really shied away from admitting drug use for some reason wanted to obscure it in this one case.

Ellie Arroway: Occam's Razor. You ever heard of it?
Palmer Joss: Hack-em's Razor? Sounds like some slasher movie.
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