MOBILE USERS: m.isthmus.com
Connect with Isthmus on Twitter · Facebook · Flickr · Newsletters 
Wednesday, April 23, 2014 |  Madison, WI: 30.0° F  Partly Cloudy
Collapse Photo Bar

Fuck all y'all ... or Schick announces his retirement

Comments on the paper, the website, the mobile site and all other Isthmus-generated products go here.

Fuck all y'all ... or Schick announces his retirement

Postby Chuck_Schick » Wed Jun 06, 2007 2:16 pm

Chuck_Schick wrote:A yet-to-be-determined prize will be rewarded to the foron who can compose the best scathing critique of Chuck Schick. Entries should be approximately 250 words and should pull no punches. The best invective-laden tirade wins. The winner will be chosen on June 29th. You can post your entries on this thread anytime prior to that date. Good luck.

To date, the evidence would suggest that y'all have a pretty piss-poor understanding of the definition of "invective."

You are, however, saving me a lot of trouble in determining the grand prize for this contest.

Losers.
Last edited by Chuck_Schick on Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Chuck_Schick
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 10385
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2001 4:41 pm
Location: back atcha

Re: Fuck all y'all ... or Schick announces his retirement

Postby white_rabbit » Wed Jun 06, 2007 2:45 pm

Chuck_Schick wrote:
I will more than likely return in the future under a different name, but if I do, I intend to take a markedly different tone.



Just don't come back as "Not_Chuck_Schick".
white_rabbit
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 7487
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2003 11:44 pm

Re: Fuck all y'all ... or Schick announces his retirement

Postby Chuck_Schick » Wed Jun 06, 2007 2:47 pm

white_rabbit wrote:Just don't come back as "Not_Chuck_Schick".

What kind of asshole do I look like?

Wait ... please don't answer that ...
Chuck_Schick
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 10385
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2001 4:41 pm
Location: back atcha

Postby JMH » Wed Jun 06, 2007 2:52 pm

He'll have to if he wants to win your contest.
JMH
Senior Member
 
Posts: 95
Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:04 pm

Postby Chuck_Schick » Wed Jun 06, 2007 2:55 pm

JMH wrote:He'll have to if he wants to win your contest.

Point taken. Forgot to shift with my own paradigm.

Get on that, Wabbit.
Chuck_Schick
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 10385
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2001 4:41 pm
Location: back atcha

Postby Prof. Wagstaff » Wed Jun 06, 2007 3:01 pm

Fuck you, Chuck. And fuck your fucking contest.

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.


Oh, and that's 250 words exactly.
Prof. Wagstaff
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 8617
Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2002 6:35 pm

Postby Chuck_Schick » Wed Jun 06, 2007 3:09 pm

That one may be tough to beat, Wags.
Chuck_Schick
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 10385
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2001 4:41 pm
Location: back atcha

Postby monsterface » Wed Jun 06, 2007 3:44 pm

:(
monsterface
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 533
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2005 8:14 pm

Postby SombreroFallout » Wed Jun 06, 2007 3:55 pm

Who the fuck is chuck?






sure, it's 245 words short of a novella, but wouldn't wanna pith anyone off . . .
SombreroFallout
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 925
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2003 12:15 pm

Postby Stomach » Wed Jun 06, 2007 6:03 pm

Don't forget to wipe.
Stomach
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 1326
Joined: Tue Dec 23, 2003 12:28 pm

Postby TheBookPolice » Wed Jun 06, 2007 6:12 pm

I'll throw in a copy of the tenderly-illustrated Good and Evil black-and-white graphic novel version of the Bible, by Michael Pearl (retails for $12.95!). It features such historical oddities as the Canaanites worshipping a Buddha statue, and a Pharaoh who looks startlingly like Yul Brynner. Winner gets one, plus a very educational pamphlet entitled "Pornography - Road to Hell" by the same author thrown in for free. Loser gets two, as well as a home-printed collection of old guy porn. Who said "lemon party"? (Google amongst yourselves, but at your own peril. I take no responsibility.)

Of course you'll have to find a way to take possession of these prizes, but that's your deal, not mine. It'll probably involve you buying me a beer or seven. I had to cart the [strike]damn things[/strike] beautiful tomes home from work, where they were sent for free.

See, it would actually be cruel and unusual punishment for me to put one of these books into my library's collection, much less three. But three is exactly how many I was sent, and I've been trying to find an occasion that merits the awarding these beauties as prizes.

You might be asking yourself, at this point: Why would I give away these prizes? Is it because I'm tired of hanging on to them and they actually suck (and suck hard)? Well, yeah, but no. Is it because I've gone quite mad? No. It's 'cause that Chuck guy's a real jerk, and Jesus hates him.

Heh.

________

And that's exactly 250, according to Word.
TheBookPolice
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 8319
Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2006 1:09 pm
Location: The mystical Far East

Postby white_rabbit » Wed Jun 06, 2007 7:49 pm

Ode to Chuck

By Uncle Rabbit

Who will tell you mother fucking imbeciles that you have no fucking clue, Chuck will.

Who the hell will tell your pathetic thalidomide popping momma that she birthed a moron, Chuck will.

Who will will take a dump on the steps of the church of your disney fantasy life, Chuck will.

Who will will find new and interesting ways of describing copulation with your momma, who's been sucking formaldehyde in a basement apartment without windows for the past ten years, Chuck will.

Who will shove Flander's 'ladies' & 'panties' smears back at him with words I've yet learned how to pronounce, Chuck will

Who will pay compliment with such descriptives as 'dumbshit', 'fucktard' and 'blow wad', Chuck will.

And when he's gone, Chuck wont.
white_rabbit
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 7487
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2003 11:44 pm

Postby jammybastard » Wed Jun 06, 2007 9:30 pm

Ode to the Shickism
(aka Congratulations to a Heavyweight Windbag)

The name Charles Shick was concocted to distinguish the stuff I've actually put some effort into from the sort of digital literary reverse peristalsis I practice on these pages.

Maybe the tails side of this sumbitch should be an engraving of two six-fingered cousins fucking each other.

I'm not a Democrat, fuckface. Guess you'll have to find another way to pigeonhole me.

I know if my parents were Republican you'd need a fuckin' crowbar to pry me off the crack pipe and I'd curse you a streak so blue you'll think the whole world's caught up in a poker match.

You can engage in whatever trivial, inconsequential speculation you like. And I can call it an exercise in political retardation. That's America to me.

Moreover, this isn't your board and I'm not here to play Emily Post so I'll respond to your horseshit as I see fit until Jason decides to cut me off. And then what? I guess I'll get some real writing done ..

Chuck Schick, R.I.P.
jammybastard
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 5459
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2001 12:05 pm
Location: All Up In Your General Area

Re: Fuck all y'all ... or Schick announces his retirement

Postby Oprah » Wed Jun 06, 2007 10:25 pm

Chuck_Schick wrote:I can't do this shtick justice anymore. Maybe my critics are correct that it's been well overplayed. (Or maybe, as I suspect, they're just a bunch of dumbfucks.)

Are you calling yourself a dumbfuck?

Chuck_Schick wrote:But I've always contended that I'm only here to amuse myself, and the simple fact is that this place isn't as fun as it used to be.

When masturbation's lost its fun . . .

Chuck_Schick wrote:June Schick bites it.

What about Ward, Wally, and the Beaver?

Chuck_Schick wrote:I will more than likely return in the future under a different name, but if I do, I intend to take a markedly different tone.

Until the second coming, I'm sure the lost among us will be asking WWC_SD.

Chuck_Schick wrote:I probably should have hung it up at the 10K post mark, which was the original plan. But the best laid ...

kurt_w and Sheppy are genii.
Oprah
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 1087
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2006 3:20 pm
Location: On the Down Low

Postby meowzamusic » Wed Jun 06, 2007 11:29 pm

meowzamusic
Forum God/Goddess
 
Posts: 2659
Joined: Sat Dec 22, 2001 1:33 am
Location: Taking requests

Next

Return to Comments on Isthmus & TheDailyPage.com

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

moviesmusiceats
Select a Movie
Select a Theater


FacebookcommentsViewedForum
  ISTHMUS FLICKR

Promotions Contact us Privacy Policy Jobs Newsletters RSS
Collapse Photo Bar