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Monday, April 21, 2014 |  Madison, WI: 56.0° F  Fair
The Daily

TELL ALL

Tell All: Doggie style
An affectionate spaniel spoils a budding romance


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Dear Tell All: I have a Labrador retriever named Daisy. Like me, she is big and playful but kind of shy. As I walk Daisy at Quann Park, I keep running into this beautiful woman with her Cavalier King Charles spaniel (really, it is a breed!), a friendly little guy who weighs all of 15 pounds. I think I'm starting to make some progress with the spaniel owner, but here's the thing. Her little dog keeps trying to mount my Labrador while we're talking. The spaniel lady seems not to notice, even though Daisy is whimpering and trying to get away from her tiny Lothario.

I don't want to call attention to the situation, because a) two creatures are trying to have sex in front of us while we're doing our own complicated mating ritual; and b) I don't want it to seem that a mature adult like me can't deal with a little canine lovemaking. But to be honest, the whole thing kind of grosses me out. How can I foil this furry little swinger without ruining my chances with the cutie on the other end of the leash?

Ruff Day in the Park

Dear Ruff: I've got one word for you: dog treats. You want to make the spaniel love you more than he loves Daisy. Every time you see Sir Humps-a-Lot, throw him one of those miniature steaks. He'll be so dazzled by the chow coming his way that he'll forget about his love for Daisy. Of course, you have to be careful that he doesn't transfer all his affection to you, or you'll find it hard to shake him off your leg. Something tells me the spaniel lady will notice if her dog is humping you instead of your Labrador. It will be something you can laugh about on your 10th anniversary.

Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Write Tell All, 101 King St., Madison, WI, 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com.

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